Good morning – are you ready to put on your gardening gloves again this morning and pull up another weed and replace it with some good feed for healthy plants to grow?
The Weed – Silence
Silence is the lowest for of communication. Some would say that silence is not communication BUT silence is always saying something and sometimes that silence can be deafening. Can we be clear: whenever there is silence, there is never “nothing wrong”. You know how it goes. The silence is screaming at you, “There is something wrong”. So you enquire, “What’s wrong?” Only to be told, “Nothing”. So now you know they are telling lies!
What comes next is where the relationship weed of silence begins to kill the relationship – fears take root and insecurity deepens. Wrong conclusions fester, grow and choke the relationship. Conflict is never resolved in silence and a person’s true motive never understood. That is why silence is a relationship killer. It is a devastating weed that quickly restricts the growth of any relationship. Relationships will always benefit from good communication.
The Feed – Communication
James 1 v 19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
By definition, communication is “a process of sharing information with another person in such a way that they understand what you are saying”. That process involves speaking, listening, body language, expressions and touch, but always with the aim of being properly understood.
A commitment to open communication will keep the weed of silence at bay. Norman Wright’s excellent book “Communication: key to your marriage” explains that when people communicate there at least six messages that come through. There is
What you mean to say
What you actually say
What the other person hears
What the other person thinks they hear
What the other person says about what you said
What you think the other person said about what you said
No wonder we misunderstand each other sometimes! But this shows just how important it is that we work on our communication to ensure it is clear.
Communication should always be CLEAR, CONTROLLED and CONSTRUCTIVE.