We hope the last two weeks about surviving conflict within relationships has been helpful. This morning, we finish with a final weed that we did not get time to cover last Sunday.
The Weed – Emotional outbursts
We all handle our emotions differently. Some wear them cheerfully on their sleeve. The moment you meet them you know instantly how they are. The ooze their emotional state, but at least you know where you stand with them. Other seem to bury them completely. Whether they are in pain, mourning, deliriously happy or have just won the lottery their expression remains the same, their voice modulates and their body language is unchanging. A persons emotional wiring plays a significant part in the relationship building process. In the normal run of things, we gradually begin to understand each other as people and usually come to appreciate the emotional make up of the other person. All this is fine and a normal part of healthy relationship development. However, from time to time you may experience a relationship that is poisoned with a weed directly linked to this process of emotional management. It is called the weed of emotional outbursts.
For some reason there is a volatile emotion permanently near the surface and everyone knows it and has probably felt it. The lady who looks like she could burst into tears at any moment or the man who looks like he could explode at any given moment. The weed of emotional outbursts has just one cure: a healthy dose of self-control.
The Feed – Self-Control
Every person has the power of self-control and for the Christian self-control is a Gift of the Spirit (Galatians 5 v 22). It is one of the evidences that God lives in you and that you are changing into a person with life-qualities more like those found in Jesus.
The Feed of Self Control should also be combined with the Feed of Communication and the Feed of being Trustworthy.
In the area of anger remember – anger is not wrong, understand your anger, in your anger do not sin, don’t let anger linger, avoid angry people, slow down and deliberately love people.
Remember 1 Corinthians 13 v 4 – 8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
The other week I was at an Activities Week with Tyler and his school – we went on Jacob’s Ladder which was a huge ladder reaching to the sky that we had to climb. One of the children asked why it was called Jacob’s Ladder and I remembered the story of Jacob found in Genesis 28 v 10 – 22. The essence of this story is that the stones where Jacob rested his head became the alter of his commitment to God and the blessing of God in his life. The stones were the broken relationships with his family and the mess his life was in but in meeting with God they became the alter and eventually the way to reconciliation.
Why not bring your brokenness and pain to God and allow them to become the alter where you give your self to God afresh – Remember your gardening tools – repentance and forgiveness.